The Nigerian nation seems more conversant with defeat than with victory, yet the strangest thing occurs.


John F Kennedy once said: “Victory has 100 fathers and defeat is an orphan!”


Yet, strangely, Nigeria is a bundle of defeats with a million fathers; all of whom are proud of her…and as such, desire to continually remain in the helm of affairs; or to come back and rule her forever!


One of such defeats lies in female circumcision. The circumcision I speak of is not clitoral. Far from it! Yet, it is worse, when considered in all parameters; especially when we take cognizance of the fact that it is metastasizing daily and no one is saying anything. Nigeria is a nation that in very subtle, deliberate ways, nicks off the minds of her daughters; precept upon precept, day after day.


On a daily, the Nigerian female is bombarded with several mechanisms to stop her from thinking. She develops in body but regresses in mind. She can seldom, if ever, engender logical solutions to the challenges of her life.


Yes. I hear your arguments at this point; so I concede. Yes. Yes, few can. But what percentage of the lot make up this few? Please understand my proclivities. Statistically, a bag of 100 oranges with 97 bad ones is easily referred to as a “bag of bad oranges”! So pardon my use of the word ALL, when, perhaps, I should say MOST.


Let’s think together: is it erroneous to say that “more” than the majority of the women-folk wake up daily in search of a financial donor to help them sort out their challenges of life? These challenges, let us note, range from clothes, to airtime, to hair-do, fixing of nails, etc…things, which would be alien to their counterparts in developed nations, when thinking of meeting a financial donor!


If I may add, this search of a “financial donor” in Nigeria is usually a search for a MAN! Pardon me. This is not an act of chauvinism; but the Nigerian female is programmed to “run away” from the daily challenges of her life…yet, she doesn’t want to die (as that is the only way out!).


Perhaps, it’s not her fault after all. This programming has been instilled by a myriad of factors. Idioms tell her a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Religions teach her women are the weaker vessel. Society convinces her it’s a man’s world. And sadly, families, carefully and subtly, groom this retrogressive mentality into full-blown intellectual ineptitude!


I have observed in my dear nation Nigeria that from infancy, female children are kept away from mentally challenging situations. For example, in a family, where a girl is of age 6 and her brother, age 3; some unique things do happen. Would you believe that if a car fails to start in the morning, the boy would be allowed to follow daddy to the car to witness the “fixing”, whereas the girl would be kept indoors because “she’s a girl”? Do you also know that if the generator packs up at, let’s say, 10PM, the boy is “urged to join the team of repairers; though he won’t do much; if anything” and the girl is “prevented from such an experience because she’s a girl”? Study your environments and conclude.


What do you think happens from incidents like these?


On a subconscious level, the boy grows up understanding, when challenges arise, you meet them headlong! On the other hand, the girl grows up understanding that when challenges arise, you call on a male!


So, as an adult, she banishes herself to a life of being a “baby-machine” and waiting on (for) a man to achieve anything and everything. Her self-worth depends solely on the type of man she finds. This leaves her abused by all the good-for-nothing-men in this same country. They have sex with her to give her airtime. They have sex with her to buy her dinner. They have sex with her for all sorts of things. It’s trade by barter!


The Nigerian man himself is no good; because he only thrives where he can abuse his woman (or as the case often is, “his women”). He is the greatest hypocrite in the world. He repudiates her thinking, despises her for such and mocks her for eternity when she blunders; forgetting blunders are the natural way to learn…

  • He claims he wants a homely girl, but when she is, he complains she’s boring;
  • He searches for a fun girl, but when she is, he complains she is wild;
  • He desires an intellectual, but when she speaks, he calls her disrespectful;
  • He “loves” independent women; but when he meets one, he calls her proud!
  • He announces his desire for a matured lady, when he finds one, he calls her old;
  • He prays for a young lady and when he meets her, he calls her “a little spoiled brat!”.

Yet on a daily, they tell me Nigeria shall be a great nation some day. How?


Oh! I forget… through prayers and fasting and living according to the creed of some Clergy – a method that has never worked and will never work for any nation! SMH!




  1. Two years after and this topic even has greater significance now than when we first discussed it. Sigh. As true and spot on as this analysis is, we females are thankful that there are some of us who have never been held bound by such prejudices and others who are daily being liberated.
    Oh and for the men, talk about double standards! I’m still yet to understand what it is with guys and their egos.

  2. Interesting piece and unfortunately…true. I lament that most women are systematically degraded by receiving the trivial attentions which men think it manly to pay to the sex, when in fact, they are insultingly supporting their own superiority.
    From religious views, this weak and fragile women are obliged to look up to man for their every comfort……..i guess dat’s a twisted definition of………submissiveness.

    Trade by Barter? Absolutely!

    For the women that have a voice….and try to pay their own bills, we know the names we are most often called……..we know how much traps are set in place, so the egotistical male can watch us fall and quickly place us in the category he thinks suits us best…………….yet we conquer

    For the men……smh! una own pass me jare!

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